In my first installment of this series, I laid out the beginning of a defense of same-sex marriage. My writing about it reflects my original bafflement when long ago I learned that my father was gay, despite fathering five children. Being as I am cis-het, as they say, and realizing that this had been an impediment in our relationship, I did what comes naturally to me — I studied it.
I went from disapproving to approving, even as my father essentially returned to his “closet”. By the end of his life, we were finally good with each other.
After reading most everything that had been published in church circles since the first affirming book in 1955 up to 1996[2], I concluded that the issue of whether two men or two women can get married in church begs the question of whether first of all we understand what marriage in the church really means for different-sex couples. I had done some work on that question already in my doctoral studies, and so I focused on that bigger question. That led to my first book on a theology of marriage, Made in Heaven?[3]
Plus, I was tired of reading only about gay relationships and how clueless and ham-fisted the churches can be. Or worse. Much worse.[4]
In my first installment on this question for Medium, I decided to do the reverse and start with same-sex marriages. My…
