I think these customs seem peculiar to us, but ours would seem disrespectful to the Victorians, I wager. Reducing a loved one to ash and then spreading the ashes somewhere—or splitting them up and keeping portions on the mantlepiece—might leave the Victorians cold.

In France we send cards inviting people to a funeral. They are bordered in black and are called "faire-part" which translates roughly to "sharing". At the end of a Roman Catholic funeral, individual members of the congregation are invited to sprinkle holy water on the coffin. The dead leave drenched, so to speak.

There are also "republican" funerals, meaning for atheists (no holy water...). There are also other rituals, like "la mise en bière" or placing the deceased in the coffin in a shroud, screwing down the top, and an official who seals it with the person's full name, dates of birth and death, and maybe marital name. In the case of a cremation, the official must be a police officer certifying the dead person's identity.

These customs might seem strange to some Americans, perhaps, but I think the Victorians would approve.