[This is the fourteenth in a series on marriage, love, and God.]
Conflict—not to be avoided!
Above, I talked about conflicts over sex, money, in-laws. There is also the topic of how to raise children — specifically “our kids.” Although all these (and more) are potential sources of division, when they arise and you face the ensuing conflict, they are also opportunities for growth.
In other words, some conflicts are necessary. Avoiding them, or claiming “victory” over the Other, or refusing to come to a conclusion, are what divide. Conflicts must be managed. When they are, good things happen. The relationship becomes stronger and deeper. Trust grows. New possibilities appear that perhaps were not thought of before or were seen as impossible.
This basic truth is hardly confined to marriage. It is true in any community. Churches often are more vulnerable to the temptation to avoid conflict, because “true Christians” are supposedly peaceful. No: such Christians end up losing their congregation. “Blessed are the peacemakers” means that there is conflict to resolve. Peacemakers are people who have the courage to confront conflict, and the blessing is that making peace makes better.[1]
