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“Birth, conception and death”
Fourth in a series.
Let’s talk about romantic love. What does it have in common with birth, conception and death?[1]
Not much, at least not at first…
Stephanie Coontz, a historian, created a stir when her book, Marriage, A History: From Obedience To Intimacy Or How Love Conquered Marriage, came out in 2005.[2] Love has indeed conquered marriage — have you watched any Bollywood movies from India? In a land where many marriages are still arranged, the plots of these films revolve around finding The One and getting married despite what Mother and Father have decided for you. (Personally, I’m quite fond of them.)
We celebrate the conquest of marriage by love every February 14, Valentine’s Day. It’s one of the great commercial holidays, whose origin is unclear since there are three Valentines who were martyred in ancient times. But we all run out to buy cards, chocolates and roses, and make dinner reservations. Well, at least I do. In our culture, remembering whom we fell in love with (or those we might like to) is an important ritual.
Cupid’s arrows aren’t cute
It points up the facts that Dr. Coontz presents. Whereas most human societies thought that marriage was too serious and important to leave up to romantic love, ours slowly came…
